The Bob Berkowitz Blog

2010-04-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

What's Stopping You?

I have this habit of asking people what they do for a living. More often than not, they hate their jobs or are maybe just bored. I then say to them, "Let's say I could waive a magic wand and give the perfect job, career or profession. What would you do?" What's interesting is that their secret gig isn't crazy, out of reach or unrealistic. The accountant doesn't want to play next to Kobe Bryant. The middle-aged lawyer has no eyes to be an astronaut. It's more like they want to be a play write, a painter or a radio talk show host. So, when I ask them, "What's stopping you," it all begins. I don't want to use the word excuses, that makes it sounds like they are lazy. It's hardly the case. More than likely they are afraid. And that's what this is about--seeing if we can figure out what's stopping us from doing and getting what we want. I always wondered what it would be like for these people at the end of their lives, looking back disappointed, maybe even angry that they didn't take a chance. I

I knew this guy who was a doctor. He hated it. He did because his father insisted that he go to medical school.

A good friend of mine owns one of the most famous restaurants in New York. Maybe the world. His place is loaded with celebrities. He wants out. He'd rather be a yoga instructor and a business coach or better yet a combination of both. Yet the velvet cage of power, money and prestige hold him back. I know this man is desperately unhappy.

Another physician I know pines to leave his reasonably successful New York City practice and write novels in Vermont.

A singer is trapped in the body of a network television producer. The list goes on.

For decades, my wife Susan had a successful career in the home furnishing direct marketing business. She was really quite good at it but she was losing interest. Her real passion in life is food. Even as a little girl, she gobbled up recipe books. In her mid-fifties, she decided to get her Master's in Food Studies from New York University.
Never wanting to stifle dreams but also a bit pragmatic, I asked her what she wanted to do with this new degree. She honestly said, she didn't know. She just wanted to learn about food. In the course of her studies, she discovered she could write. I mean really write, really well. She wrote about food. Is she making a ton of money at it? No but she loves it. Getting up in the morning and sitting in front of her lap top is something she looks forward to.

If you're one of the fortune ones who loves what you're doing, be grateful. But if you're not, what's stopping you?

What stops us isn't about money. Its about fear. I'm not saying that you have to hand in your resignation as a soft wear designer. You do have to pay your bills. But you still can write at night or start your own Internet talk radio show. You may even be good at. You might discover that you can make a living at it.

And yet, something stops us.

So, what about you? What stops you from doing what you want?

How Will You Screw Things Up?

2010-04-09T10:09:00.001-07:00

Tom Seaver, the great Hall of Famer pitcher reportedly before every game he would pitch, sat down and read the line up of the opposing team. He was looking for players who could beat him. Maybe they had success against him in the past. Or maybe he just needed to change his approach to pitching to these particular hitters.

What about us? More than likely in our careers or personal relationships, we are not going up against opponents. If there is someone who could defeat you, it's probably going to be you. So, the question is: what would you do to screw up a new business deal or job, for example? What's been your pattern in the past? Do you start out on fire and then get lazy? Do you miss deadlines or not full fill promises you've made to your boss or your customers? Do you lie? Do you cheat on your expense account?

You might be able to fine similar self-sabotaging behaviors in personal relationships.

To avoid tripping your self up, you need to make a brutally honest assessment of your behavior. Too many people rationalize b.s. behavior or duck any responsibility. They are looking to blame everyone but themselves. You'll never grow until you own up to what you've done without finger pointing or excusing. When you are fully conscious of your pattern, you can be aware of when you maybe heading down that road of self-inflicted pain.

Does Self Help Really Help?

2010-03-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

Each year, Americans spend billions of dollars on a parade of self help programs. The self-improvement segment of the book market alone is worth nearly $700 million annually, this according Market Data Enterprise. You could then toss in another $354 million for audio books in the category. But are we getting our monies worth? Do we really change? I mean really, really change—not just in the days and weeks following the weekend seminar, the Wayne Dyer PBS Special or a book we read. Is the change lasting? And if it isn’t, if we jump from the self help du jour to tomorrow’s you-can-be-better blue plate special, could that have a negative effect on us?

I had a conversation recently with a few guys about what has really worked that led to permanent change. One of my friends is a credit card short of a self help junkie. He goes from Sedona Method to Marianne Williamson to One Year to Change Your Life and on and on. The truth is he doesn’t seem to be any different. He has the same income he endlessly complains about, still has the ongoing contentious relationship with his adult child and his girlfriend, but most importantly, he doesn’t seem to be any happier. He does not claim that his life is radically different as a result of all of the self improvement but he says he always learns something. Self knowledge is good, but change is supposed to be the outcome of all this investment.

Another one of the guys subscribes to the pain theory of change. That is we only modify our behavior when what we are doing becomes too painful. But does that mean we would only stop smoking when the doctor tells us we have a brown spot on our lung? Isn’t that a little too late?

I think there’s a lot to the pain principle of change but I believe you can imagine or envision the consequences of your behavior in or order to act differently. Presumably you’re smart enough to know that smoking can kill. The problem is, too many of us live in the land of deny and justify.

You may need to hit rock bottom, but sometimes the more mature of us can see where this is heading and put the brakes on bad behavior.

What about the continued failure of self help programs to deliver what they promise? Does that not confirm the worst suspicions that many of us have of ourselves, that our problems are incurable and that we are doomed to spend the rest of our lives unhappy or unfulfilled?

I’ve spent more than a few dollars on self-help myself. Did it help? Hard to say. I’ve also wrote a book called “What Men Won’t Tell You, but Women Need to Know.” I’m telling you this so I don’t come off as too sanctimonious. I guess I’m looking for (and perhaps giving) answers like many others.

What about you? What’s been your experience with self help? Or have you found some way-- your own or someone else’s-- to make tangible, lasting change?

Be Clear, Be Very Clear

2010-03-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

If you can't explain what you stand for, how can you expect anyone else to listen to you, buy your product or idea or be persuaded by anything you say.

Here's an example. Politics aside, You know where the Tea Party is coming from. They think the government has become too big and wants too much of your money. Clear, understandable. You can agree or disagree, but there it is.

On the other hand, the Coffee Party vision is mushy and vague. They say they want more representative government. Fine, but what does that mean. Do they think that we have too many lawyers and not enough factory workers. in Washington? Not clear and not precise.

What about you? Can people easily understand what your business is about or what you stand for?

See if you can come up with three points that clearly explains your work or your life or what ever you're trying to communicate.

The Power of Empathy

2010-02-09T13:51:00.001-08:00

Empathy--"The ability to share in another's emotions, thoughts or feelings." -- Webster's New World DictionaryIf you want to persuade and influence people to buy into your idea, product, or service, you must first understand them. You must learn everything you can about them. Who are they? What are their dreams, aspirations and fears?
Nelson Mandela valued the power of understanding others, including his enemies. Richard Shell and Mario Moussa, in The Art of the Woo, tell how Mandela wanted to persuade his jailers to improve treatment for all of the inmates in Robbins Island prison, where they were held captive.
A major part of his strategy was to get inside the minds of his captors. To that end, he taught himself to speak and comprehend Afrikaans, and learned the history, culture and values of the Afrikaaners. In order to best communicate what he wanted, he needed to truly know where his adversaries were coming from. Or as Mandela put it: "You must understand the mind of the opposing commander...you can't understand him unless you understand his literature and his language." This empathetic comprehension of those who were guarding him and his fellow inmates led to better conditions in an otherwise oppressive jail.
In dealing with clients, you probably won't have to learn a foreign language, but you do need to understand what words, phrases and vocabulary will resonate. When I worked for Roger Ailes at CNBC, he told me that if the person on the receiving end of your communication doesn't get what you're talking about, it's your responsibility to figure out how to say it so she does.
Many years ago, I took acting lessons just for the fun of it. I learned a very valuable lesson from the teacher. When you play a part you must view the world from the perspective of your character. Your interpretation of the role depends upon it. It's no different in business. Adapting your message means knowing your audience, not just the facts about them, but their feelings and attitudes as well.
Barbara Walters tells this story about Roone Arledge, who was my boss when I was a correspondent at ABC News. If she invited him to a dinner party, he would ask for the bio of everyone who was going to be there. Maybe Arledge was socially anxious and looking for some way to make small talk, but I don't believe that was the case. I think he wanted to have a little background information of where they were coming from to communicate with them better and make it a more fruitful evening.
This empathetic connection to others goes well beyond business. Michael Eisner, the former chairman of Disney, thinks people have it all wrong when they insist that the ability to say "I'm sorry" is the most important communication skill in a marriage. He states that understanding your spouse's point of view is really the gold in a valued connection, and I concur.
Simply put, the power of empathy is putting yourself in the other person's place, and then choosing the right words to connect to what he wants and needs.

Be a Powerful Speaker

2010-02-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

Giving a speech is an opportunity for you to get an audience to see their world differently. It's your chance to influence the way they think and get them to take action. These points are designed to help you be a more powerful and confident speaker.

1. Take a stand.
Make a provocative statement or ask challenging questions. Get their attention by presenting a strong point of view, thoughtful analysis, perspective and judgment. If it's the same old, same old they've heard before you'll lose them and never get them back. Don't waste their time by telling them how happy you are to be in Cleveland or saying something nice about the person who introduced you. Nobody cares.

2. Make it clear why this is in their interest to listen.
You must understand what they care about. What are their needs, fears, dreams and desires? How do you want your audience to think, feel or react? What action would you like them to take as a result of what you are telling them?

3. Be interesting.
A friend of ours is a minister and she came to me for advice on how she could improve her sermons. She thought about peppering her homilies with jokes. I reminded her that she's not a comedian and her flock does not come to church to be entertained. They are looking for meaning. Jokes are great if you're really funny. More than likely, you're not. Stick to what you know and what's important to them.

4. Tell meaningful stories and evoke real feelings.
Stories connect to our imagination. The audience can envision what you are talking about. The image the story lasts far longer than the words that they heard. Even better is emotionally moving your audience, getting them to feel in their hearts what your message is about. Do you remember how you felt the night Barack Obama was elected president? I don't recall a word he said to the crowd in Chicago, but I'll never forget the feeling I had.

5. Keep it short.
The Gettysburg Address is only 256 words. I'm not saying that your speech should be that brief but much longer than 20 minutes and you might start losing your crowd.

6. Don't read your speech word for word.
And don't try to memorize it either. Instead, be conversational with your audience. If you need three-by-five cards to remind you of the salient points, fine, but talk to them and don't lecture. Don't wing it. Practice it. A lot. Good preparation will go a long way in reducing your anxiety.

7. To PowerPoint or not to PowerPoint.
If your presentation is informational, PowerPoint might be helpful. But if your speech is visionary, if you're trying to walk your audience through your idea of the future, then don't use PowerPoint. It will just be a distraction. If you are using PowerPoint, keep it tight.

Entreprenerus: how to be a powerful persuader.

2009-09-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Here are my thoughts on how entrepreneurs can be powerful persuaders and effective communicators.

Understanding your target audience or customer. Who are they? How do you effectively communicate in a way that they can understand?

Persuading and influencing. Appealing to peoples’ practical and emotional needs. How to understand explicit and implicit wants. J.P. Morgan once said that people have two reasons for everything they do: the good reasons and the real reasons.

The importance of an empathetic approach to communications. People need to feel understood. Address their values, needs, wants, desires and fears.

Listen to what’s being said and not said. People will tell you what they want but sometimes it’s important to listen between the lines. Be intuitive. What are this person’s real needs—not just the presenting ones?

Ask good questions. People often reveal more than they realize.

Tell great stories. Stories build an emotional connection between you and your listener. Facts are important, but stories capture the imagination.

Be aspirational. Connect with the listener’s desire for a better life.

Create a feeling. People often don’t remember what you said, but they always remember how you made them feel.

Differentiate. Demonstrate how your product or service is different from anything else in the market place.

2009-09-21T13:24:00.001-07:00

Ten Ways to be a Great Communicator

By Bob Berkowitz
Principal
The Dilenschneider Group
bberkowitz@dgi-nyc.com
(212) 922.0900

Know your audience and why you are talking to them. People need to feel understood. Address their values, needs, wants, desires and fears. When people feel you get where they are coming from, you get the business.

What are their explicit and implicit needs? JP Morgan said that people have two reasons for everything they do: the good reasons and the real reasons. For example, someone might say they are going to buy a Mercedes because they are well made and safe. Those are the good or explicit reasons. The real reasons may be because it makes them feel good; or that it tells the world that they are important, powerful and affluent. They have arrived. Those are the real or implicit reasons. Ultimately, they are all right.

Listen between the lines. Be an intuitive listener. What are these people’s real needs—not just the presenting ones? They will tell you everything you need to know, if you stop talking and listen.

Tell great stories. Stories build an emotional connection between you and your listener. Facts are important, but stories capture the imagination.

People often don’t remember what you said. They always remember how you made them feel. Those who make others feel good about themselves win people’s confidence and business.

Ask good questions. People often reveal more than they realize. With the information you glean from the answers, you’ll have a much better idea how to effectively communicate.

Differentiate. How does your product, idea or service differ from everything else out there?

It’s not what you say, but how you say it. You can have the greatest message in the world, but if the listener does not understand you, it’s a waste of time. It’s your responsibility to make sure the listener gets it. You have to either explicitly or implicitly answer the listeners’ question: what’s in it for me? Make compelling arguments for your position.

Be aspirational. Connect with the listener’s desire for a better life.

Be brief. Brevity is not only the soul of wit but of good communications.

Can you make someone great who really isn't?

2009-09-14T12:35:00.000-07:00

The short answer is no. That said, I've had a few clients who have asked me to make someone into something they are not.

I'm reminded of the movie "All That Jazz." It was a bio-pic of the late choreographer, Bob Fosse. In one scene, Fosse (played by Roy Scheider) was particularly harsh in his criticism of one of the dancers in a show that he was choreographing. Finally, she burst into tears. Fosse turned to her and said "look, I don't think I can make you into a great dancer. I'm not even sure that I can turn you into a good dancer. But if you listen to me, I can make you a better dancer."

As a media and message trainer, I feel confident that I can help virtually anyone be a better communicator. But great? Maybe, but you better very good to begin with.

We can all be better at communicating. I've never met anyone who couldn't improve. It's hard for me to imagine being successful in business (or in life) without good communications skills.

The good reasons and the real reasons

2009-08-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

JP Morgan once said that people have two reasons for everything they do: the good reason and the real reason. Morgan was right. That's why I say you need to be sensitive to the explicit motives of people and the implicit ones. For example: we all need clothes. They protect us from the elements and address our needs for modesty. Those are the explicit needs. But if I buy an Armani suit, I am addressing my implicit needs. Maybe I'm trying convey my fashion sense, or my taste. Perhaps I want to send a message that I'm affluent, stylish, powerful or that my sartorial choices lean more European than American.

Another example might reveal something about consumers by the choice they make in cars. Let's say the decision is between buying a Toyota Corolla or a Prius. Both are practical and inexpensive cars. But the Prius might tell you something more revealing about the driver: his values, interests in the environment and energy conservation, maybe even his political leanings.

All of this comes under the heading of listening between the lines. It means hearing not only what people say they want but picking up on what they really want.

Communication is not the most important ingreedient in a succesful marriage.

2009-08-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

I cringe every time I hear a so-called relationship expert trot out some tired old cliche like communication is the key to a good marriage. Really? How about if one partner tells the other what a jerk, idiot, incompetent buffoon they are? Are the "communicating?" Yes. But it is the communication of destruction.

In any communication, be it intimate or in business, you have to think of a way of speaking to the person on the other side of your message so they understand what you're saying. Hostile name calling results in the listener either shutting down or retaliating.

Who is on the other side of the conversation? What are their needs, wants and desires? What are their values?

When you understand those needs, you can craft a message that can be heard and understood.

People forget what you say, but not how you make them feel.

2009-08-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

That's what Warren Beatty reportedly once said. I think there's a lot of truth to it. Look at your own life. Think of those who inspired you, made you angry, hurt your feelings or made you feel proud. The words may not be quotable, but the feelings that you associate with that person are unforgettable.

We tend to be attracted to those who help us feel better about our selves--not in a disingenuous or patronizing way, but sincerely help us see the value in who we are.

Conversely, we stay clear of negative, angry or hostile people.

Successful politicians understand this. Those that preach the gospel of optimism...FDR, JFK, Reagan are the ones we tend to recall fondly.

I remember working for a television network that ruled by fear. That seemed to stifle creativity or the desire for people to so something out of the norm--all because they were afraid.

When customers feel understood, they are attracted to those selling them products or services.

The feeling you have will long out last the words that you hear.

I hate it when people don't take themselves seriously

2009-07-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, I heard that tired old cliche once again, "I take life seriously, I just don't take myself seriously."

Can anyone explain to me what the hell that's supposed to mean? If you don't take yourself seriously, who is?

Do you not take your health seriously? How about your family, your friendships, your relationships? Are you serious about your work? All of that and much more is you.

Life goes by rapidly. At the end, I doubt too many people would say "I wish I had taken those things less seriously."

My goal is for these blogs to be about communication. That includes the way we talk to ourselves. Little is gained and much is lost by diminishing ourselves. My life is important to me as I hope yours is to you.

When the Famous are Fallible

2009-07-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

I was listening to an interview with Heather Mills, the ex-wife of Paul McCartney. She was being questioned by Richard Greene on his Air America radio show. Mills made the claim that being on a vegan diet could absolutely reverse type one diabetes in two weeks. She offered no proof, no studies, no nothing to back up such an assertion. Greene did note that she is not a doctor. She could not dispute that but said that "she studdied a lot" what ever that means. Studied with whom? Studied what?

Because they are famous, some how or another celebrities can say anything without challenge. In fact, that is the premise of Green's radio program. It's called Hollywood Clout. He brings on a variety of entertainers to pontificate on their beliefs, be they political, dietary, medical, or whatever.

Why do we think that their opinion about the Obama health care proposal is any more important or relevant than the person that cleans their house?

I've always believed that in our country, we worship at the alter of fame (or infamy), looks, money or power. Some how intelligence, character or education doesn't quite measure up.

Comfort is the Key

2009-07-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

A close friend of mine is Paul Mc Cartney's photographer. Bill and Paul have travelled the world together.

I don't know Paul, but as a former White House correspondent, I do know what its like to be around famous and powerful people.

The stars of the world need to be surrounded by people who they trust. It's not only that their aides will hold their secrets, but that they also have to feel comfortable with those who serve them.

My friend Bill understands Paul's body langauge. He knows when it's okay to take a candid photo of him and when to back off. He can read his moods. Paul knows this and keeps re-hiring Bill for every one of his tours because Bill is to steal a lyric from an old Beatle's song like "an old brown shoe." He's comfortable with Bill.

Now, don't get me wrong, Bill is a world class photographer. See for yourself www.billbernstein.com There are other outstanding photograhers. But Paul does not know them and they don't know him. He doesn't feel comfortable with them.

Comfort is at least as important as competence.

When You Get the Customer, You Get the Business

2009-07-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

In selling anything--a product, a service, a candidate or an idea--you need to speak to how people see themselves. What are their dreams, their goals, their aspirations? What do they secretly want in life? What are their frustrations?

So, how do you find out what people really want in life? Here's an example. Ask them what they do for a living. I then ask them, putting all practical considerations aside, what would you really like to do? More often than not (in fact way more often), it's something distinctly different from the way they currently earn a living. Invariably, the dream job is something that is doable; hardly out of the realm of possibility. Few people have ever said that their real fantasy occupation is to the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys or co-star in a movie with Brad Pitt.

My curiosity asks, what's stopping them? The answer is a window into their dreams, aspirations and frustrations.

People and companies that speak to the frustrations of people in an empathetic way usually wind up getting the business.

People want to be heard and understood. Those who get the customer, get the business.

That does not mean being phony or disingenuous. It means understanding life from their perspective.

Asking the Right Questions can lead to the Right Solution

2009-07-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I hosted a television talk show. My guest was the then nation's drug czar under Ronald Reagan, William Bennett.

I asked him why Americans have such an insatiable appetite for drugs. He seemed a bit stunned by the question and allowed that he really didn't know.

Until you can answer that "why" question, the solution will remain elusive.

What's going on in the lives of American drug abusers? Are they frustrated, angry, disillusioned, in pain? Why do some alienated Americans turn to drugs, while others don't?

Bennett and his successors needed to have a deep understanding of these people. The tactics and strategies of ending drug abuse depends on having a keen awareness on what motivates those who take illegal narcotics.

Okay, let's stipulate that you are probably not in the business of stopping people from taking illicit drugs or convincing them not to be junkies.

But the principal of knowing how your customer or client thinks and feels is the same.

No matter what you are selling, an idea or a product, you need to speak to how your customers see themselves. What are their goals, their dreams, their aspirations? What do they secretly want in life? What are their frustrations? What are your customers telling you about your product?

Those who connect to their customers in an empathetic and intuitive way more often than not wind up getting the business.

What I learned from my father about empathy

2009-06-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

I sit here writing this on the day before Father's Day.

My dad is going to be 91 this fall and I'm grateful for every day that I have with him.

The older I get, the smarter and wiser my father seems to me--and I've always thought he was damn smart to begin with.

My father is a psychoanalyst and he's still seeing patients. He tells me that he's going to keep on working until he needs more help than they do. I'm sure the people that come to see him hope that doesn't happen for some time.

He told me something once about his practice that has really stayed with me. He said that he can identify with all of the emotions, issues and problems that his clients have brought to his office--except one. He can't understand why anyone could be bored. Dad is a voracious reader and learner so having nothing to do is something he just can't relate to.

His ability to connect with his patients is one of the things that make him a terrific therapist. That power of empathy is something we all need to develop, no matter what line of work we are in.

In my own career, as a communications consultant, I'm always telling my clients that whatever message they are sending, they need to keep the recipient in mind. If you understand how your customers, clients and employees think and feel, you will dramatically increase your chances of being successful

This applies to other parts of one's life. Michael Eisner, the former chairman of Disney said that people have it wrong when they say that your ability to say your sorry is they key to a successful relationship. Rather, he says, your understanding of where your spouse or partner is coming from is really the gold in a valued personal connection.

So Dad, thanks for your wisdom, your kindness, your love and most importantly for being there for me.

Blaming the messenger

2009-06-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

Let me say up front, I am no fan of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck or Fox News. But to blame them for the assassination of the abortion doctor or the act of terrorism at the Holocaust Museum in Washington is misguided. That is in fact what Joan Walsh of Salon and Paul Krugman of the New York Times have done.

First of all there is zero evidence that these two heinous acts were committed because of what they may have heard on the air. The 88 year old white supremacist James von Brunn's sick views were formed long before Limbaugh, Beck, et al were born. Like wise the Klan and the Nazis certainly pre-date hate talk radio and TV.

Conversely, should the media be given credit because we are a far more tolerant society when it comes to race, gender and sexual preference? Probably not.

My belief is that media is more a reflection of what's going on in society rather than an instigator.

Who is your audience?

2009-06-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

I'm doing some consulting for a group of political candidates in a foreign country. This started me thinking about who the audience is for these politicians. My first thought was, "all voters, of course." But is it? We had to drill down our polling information to find out who we need to convince to vote for our party. We targeted our message to the 12% undecided voters and the ten percent of the electorate who were backing our opponent but were soft supporters.

All of this reminded me of when I was hosting a show on the now defunct Financial News Network (It was bought be CNBC).

I was working out at my local health club when I was approached by a man who was a viewer of my show. He said he was in advertising and was thinking about doing a spot buy for his client, an upscale steak restaurant on the two Manhattan cable outlets that carried FNN. The restaurant is located in midtown Manhattan. He was also considering a buy for the same client on the local six o'clock news on the New York CBS station. The Channel Two buy would have cost several times more than the more limited FNN purchase. I told him that most of the WCBS news viewership lived outside of Manhattan and only a handful of them could afford a meal at this restaurant. Why would you spend more to target people who are not likely to be your customers? The FNN audience lived in Manhattan and they had money.

We not only have to think about who we are talking to but how do we communicate with them. We need to consider what language to use, and what is the best media. More on that in a future posting.

Is Old Media Dead? Hardly.

2009-05-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

I read two postings online that fly in the face of conventional wisdom.

The first gives lie to the notion that everyone is glued to their iPhone or computer in order to watch videos. Television is dead. Or is it?

Susan Whiting, Vice Chair and Executive Vice President of the Nielsen Company says that Americans are devoting 153 hours a month to watching television--or better than 5 hours a day. To be sure we are increasingly turning to alternative media for our viewing. --130 million Americans watch video online, up 13% year-over-year. Meanwhile, 13 million of us see videos on our cell phones.

The point Whiting makes is important: true, people are increasingly watching videos on their computers and on hand held devices but not at the expense of old media TV.

The lesson here is that there is an insatiable appetite for media, no matter where we watch it. If any medium suffers as a result of this trend, it is print. There are just so many hours in the day.

And then there is the story of Time-Warner dumping AOL. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

Finally: Twitter. A new survey has it that 60% of new Twitter users stop tweeting after just a month.

Perhaps we should be cautious about judging which media are dead and which are alive and what the future is.

Listening Between the Lines

2009-05-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

If you're trying to sell something--an idea, a product or a service--you need to gauge the explicit and implicit needs of the person you are pitching.

For example, we all have the experience of buying clothes. That is a product that is a necessity in our society. Clothes protect us from the elements and preserve our modesty. That's the explicit need. But clothes can also make a statement about us. They may suggest power, sexiness, informality, tradition, grunge vs. preppy, etc. Those are implicit values.

Recently, I worked with a client who is trying to sell high end financial instruments to prospects. In a role playing situation between my client and someone portraing the customer, it became obvioius that, yes the prospect was indeed looking for a sound company to manage her families fortune(explict). But after asking several well thought out questions, it became equally clear that the prospect was also looking for some one who would come up with solutions that would unite a sharply divided family. Under additional questioning, the prospective customer allowed that she felt insecure about handling money and needed to work with some one who could give her extra attention and explain the various complexities of the financial world (implicit).

The key was asking her the right questions, paying attention to the answers and making her feel that she was heard and understood. It means listening between the lines.

When a prospect senses that feeling of empathy, trust can begin and a relationship and ensue.

The Importance of telling stories

2009-05-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

The Power of Stories

Stories build an emotional connection between you and your listener. Facts are important, but stories are necessary because they capture the imagination of the listener. The story helps create a word picture in the mind of the receiver. Facts can be forgotten, stories stay with us.

Mike George is the CEO of QVC. Every Monday, he writes to his employees something to inspire them. He often tells stories from his personal life. He wrote about his 11 year old son’s miscommunication with a hair stylist. The woman shaved his head instead of giving him a trim has he requested. The kid was traumatized and wore a baseball cap until his hair grew back.

He uses this anecdote to illustrate the importance of communicating clearly with QVC customers.

George believes that these kinds of stories “create a high level of engagement and connection between the one giving the illustration and those who are hearing it.